It's been a month and I'm starting to recognize the all too familiar signs of the end; the ex, the ignoring of calls and the absence of her smile... I think it's the loss of the smile that kills me the most. I mean, that's the best part; the knowledge that you're the reason for that smile, that wondrous thing that somehow manages to make those circles under her eyes disappear.
Today, I was waiting for her to walk up the steps from the student parking lot (I get to school before her) and an old friend was standing beside me. He looked and saw my excitement, my happiness to see her again... and then fall of my face when I saw her ex, the most recent one, next to her; most days she's accompanied by either him or another ex. She was laughing like I used to make her laugh and he had that grin I have every time I'm with her.
Looking at me, my friend coughed and said, "You don't deserve this, man."
Biting my lip to keep myself from agreeing, I thought back to the scars on my brother's face, the girl who's heart I hurt, the wrongs I've done, and the pain I've caused. "Maybe I do," I said, closing my eyes. "Maybe I do."
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