Rant.... ON A MONDAY!

The next paragraph may make no sense but it's coming straight from my mind so...

WTF? Come on, seriously?  This is becoming like a disease, an ache I can't find but still feel.  I kept my head down, looking at the bottoms of the lockers and walked at a moderate pace; I've never known exactly when I would pass you in the hallway, so it can't be that I was waiting for the specific time that you would walk pass.  Did you really say my name or was that my overactive imagination?  How did I know that that was you?  How the hell did I manage to see you, when all I could see were pants and shoes, no faces to connect.  It's like, no matter how hard I try, whenever you are near, I feel pulled to you and it hurts so freaking bad.  I knew the exact moment when I passed you and I made the mistake of looking back and seeing you.  It should be like you're dead to me and I could care less but, the truth is, I still love you.

I was riding with my neighbor to school and that Bruno Mars song started to play on the radio and I listened to it.

Same bed, but it feels just a little bit bigger now
Our song on the radio, but it don't sound the same
When our friends talk about you all that it does is just tear me down
Cause my heart breaks a little when I hear your name
And it all just sound like uh, uh, uh

Hmmm too young, too dumb to realize
That I should have bought you flowers and held your hand
Should have gave you all my hours when I had the chance
Take you to every party cause all you wanted to do was dance
Now my baby is dancing, but she's dancing with another man.

I started going through this mental checklist as the chorus went by; "Yup, bought her flowers... held her hand, mhmm... I gave her all my hours when I could... tried to take her to every party, cause I knew she loved to dance... annnnd, now she's dancing with another guy... yup"

  I hate the fact that I love her; it would be so much easier right now if I had never given a fuck.