Right Back At It Again - Chapter 9

Seria

 

       I sighed and tucked my hair behind my ear again before clicking on the next link.  I should have gotten it cut shorter, I thought to myself, even though I knew it had been a stretch for me to get it cut this short to begin with.  I grabbed the can of coffee next to my mouse and took a sip before reading the title in bold white letters against a background of dark green.

      "SAO Survivor School,"  I muttered aloud, taking another drink from the piece of aluminum that I was now gripping tightly.  What the fuck is wrong with me?  I thought to myself.  He probably doesn't even think about you anymore; it's been over a year and a half.

      Tanchi jumped on top of my desk, meowing loudly as if he was still hungry even though I had just fed him an hour ago.  I made a face at my mother's cat and retorted, "It's not my fault that I thought he had been executed!"

         The words came out a little louder than I thought they would and I briefly thought about backing out of my plan.  As soon as the thought entered my mind, though, it was quickly vanquished by the image of the smiling boy with bright blue eyes and sandy blond hair.  He probably doesn't look like that anymore if he's smart enough to know to hide, I thought to myself.  Then again, PoH was able to able to find him, so that doesn't say much for that.

         I sighed and resigned myself to the trip I knew I would be making tomorrow, no matter how ridiculous it was.  Tanchi meowed at me as if calling me stupid for stalking this guy I hadn't seen in over two years.  I flicked him off and pulled my legs up close to me, burying my face in my knees.
        You had better be alive, Aiken.

+++ 

 

      Kitty was rocking back and forth from her heels to her toes and humming an upbeat tone.  Glancing over at her, I could see that she was barely keeping her excitement inside of her and her face was beaming.

        "Excited much?" I asked, smirking as even her cat-like ears started to twitch with impatience.  I crossed my arms and was surprised when my hands didn't touch my arms, but then I remembered that I was wearing my guild uniform, which covered that part of my avatar.
        Kitty had gotten around to designing the uniforms that I had given her permission to create; it turned out that you could craft certain custom apparel sets outside of the clothing provided by the game, although the base stats were nowhere close to those of non-customizable armor.
         The guild armor was made of black, gloss-less leather, with orange-tinted metal clasps and buckles.  It was my opinion that we looked like the secret police or officers of some top-secret organization, though that wasn't entirely a bad thing.  The only real difference between the male and female sets was the bottom half; while the guys had trousers, the girls had skirts with long boots.  I was very surprised with the overall design of the set, seeing as how Kitty had managed to finish it on Wednesday.
           "Yes!" Kitty exclaimed and her slitted pupils dilated.  "I can't wait to get my room back!"  She turned towards me and gave me a huge smile; her energy seemed to overpower whatever sleepiness that had carried over from yesterday.
           "I'll be staying in my new penthouse," Jinx boasted and I reluctantly waited for him to do the same spiel about how awesome his new house was that he had been going on and on about for the past week.  However, it seemed that he picked up on my disinterest and added, "It'll be nice to have the old place back, though."
          "What about you, Vin?" Kitty asked, politely waiting for the Pooka to finish his sentence before speaking.  I leaned against the front of the old manor house and wondered if the two of them had finally gotten over whatever had caused Kitty's grudge.  More importantly, how long will it be till one of them manages to do something to piss the other off?  I thought to myself.
          "Jesse and I already bought our old house on floor 2,"  the Imp replied in an apologetic tone and gave a slight smile.  Jesse was sitting next to him on the ground with her back to the wall of "Belts and Blades".  Before Kitty had interrupted them, they had been messing around with a crystal that Jesse was holding; from where I was, it looked like a transport crystal.
         "Oh yeah, that's right," the Cait Sith replied, placing her hands on the back of her head and leaning back on the heels of her feet.  She turned back towards the rest of the group and said, "What about the rest of you guys?"
         Gerg chuckled and said, "I'll still be in the guild house; after all, it doesn't make much sense for me to live anywhere that isn't this close to my shop."  Somehow, he looked bigger in his guild uniform compared to his usual armor, even though it was considerably thinner than the heavy plated set.
        The Salamander that had been impatiently staring down the road where Mattias had gone turned around and remarked, "I never have enough money for a house so I'll take my old room."
         "That's probably because you spend all of your yul on MP and HP potions.  You should just trust Mattias to do the job of keeping you healthy,"  Jinx said, patting him on the back.
        Auser sucked his teeth and retorted, "I can fight just fine enough; I don't need a healer to make sure that every hit I take is worthless.  Anyways, what are you?  My mother?"
         Jinx clasped both of his hands on both sides of the swordsman's face and began to move it back and forth.  "Of course I am, Auser-san.  I am your doting mother who cares so much for her son."  he said in a sing-song voice, switching to the more formalized Japanese that natives of the country used.  Out of the group, Jesse and Auser were the only ones that spoke that way, though Jinx and Mattias could switch between the two dialects easily.
        As my big brother continued to imitate what he imagined Auser's mother was like, I turned to see Kitty's reaction.  Surprisingly, she had a little smile on and seemed to be enjoying Jinx's antics.  Usually, by now, she would be scolding him for being such a weirdo or telling him to quit being so immature.  I stared at her and wondered what exactly happened between her and Jinx; this was definitely more that the end of one of their grudges.
        Kitty caught me staring at her and turned slightly so she could face me.  "What about you, Aiken?  Have you changed your mind about getting a house?"  she asked, the tips of her ears twitching slightly above her smiling face.  I wondered briefly how her ears worked; I had noticed before that Vin's and Jinx's ears moved sometimes, even though I had never seen their ears move in real life.
        My ears were covered by my alabaster hair; when I looked in a mirror at an inn and pulled my hair out of the way, I could see that my ears were slightly shorter than Gerg's, who had been sharing the room with me.  This was probably what allowed them to stay hidden; that, and the fact that they were rotated back a little bit, so they didn't exactly stick straight out like everyone else's did.  It made me wonder why my avatar was so different; even in the pay-to-customize option, I had never heard about someone being able to customize their ears.
        "Actually, I've been thinking about it,"  I replied, looking away from her to look at the old manor house's front door to the left of me.  The truth is, I don’t think I could take living in this house after everything that has happened, I thought to myself, putting the feelings that had been plaguing my mind for a week into words.  At the very least, I doubt I could live in my old room.

+++

       Even though players weren't stuck in this VRMMO, houses were still very important.  Inns cost yul for each time that you used them and were not exclusive by any definition.  Even though doors locked automatically and were soundproof, it could be kindof unsettling to know that twenty or so other players would be walking the hallways outside of your room.  In addition, inns didn’t allow outside furniture or appliances like kitchen tables, stoves, or wardrobes.

        Houses in MMO's have traditionally been important because they give the player a sense of ownership and exclusivity.  Houses provide a place for a group of friended players to congregate and plan quests; in particular, guild houses are important for large meetings about movements against rival guilds or big time raids on dungeons without having to worry about outside players finding out about this information.  In addition, with options for furniture and customization, a house can feel unique to a player; in VRMMOs, the furniture has a practical use in addition to being an aesthetic element.

+++

       "That's great!" Kitty said, popping into my vision and startling me out of my thoughts.  She was smiling widely and I began to wonder if there was an ulterior motive to her question.  "There's a housing system in ALO that is absolutely amazing!"

         I smiled despite the growing feeling of apprehension that had started since I announced on Friday that we had saved enough money to buy the guild house.  "What kind of housing system are we talking about?" I asked, knowing that if she was this excited over a housing system, it had to have some sort of artistic capability to it.
         "It's completely customizable," she replied, confirming my suspicions.  "The framework, the walls, the foundation, the size, the rooms… everything.  All you have to do is draw the layout on these forms and buy the plot of land in ALfheim."
         I shrugged slightly and remarked, "Well, I don't know if I have the time for all that and-"
         "That's okay, I can do it for you!" Kitty interrupted and I mentally face-palmed myself for being such an idiot.  I had just planned on getting a small, unfurnished house if living in the guild house had proved to be too much; after all, I didn't really need anything more than a place to log out safely from.  "Although, I'm gonna need to do some trial sketches IRL before I do the real thing and we'll have to find a spot in ALfheim for it to be and…"
         "I don't mean to burst your bubble, but I still might end up living in the guild house,"  I reminded her, chuckling at her energy.  Yeah right, like you'll be able to do that, I heard a voice in my head say.  You still use your NerveGear because you're terrified of facing the fact that it's all over and nobody's coming back.
        "Finally!"  Auser exclaimed and I looked up to see Mattias walking towards the group.  I let out the sigh that I had been holding in and steeled myself to lead my guild.
        "I'm sorry, it took a while for my identification slip to go through for some reason,"  Mattias apologized, walking by his roommates and coming to a stop before the "Buy House" window.  "Is everyone ready to proceed with the purchase?"
          The others nodded and Vin and Jesse stood up to get ready to go into the building.   "We're ready,"  I said, anxious to get a piece of the past back.
         Mattias nodded and placed his hand on the window, tapping "Accept" on the confirmation window that popped up.  Another window popped up right afterwards and Mattias' finger hovered over it.  "It wants to know whether or not we want to have the guild's name on the front of the house,"  he informed us and looked at me for an indication of what to.
        "Seeing as how there are some players from SAO in ALO and know that floor 13 was where our headquarters were, it'd be smart to not have our name on the front,"  Vin said and the memory of PoH's threat flashed in my mind.  I still hadn't told anyone about the incident and I figured that Vin was just being overly careful.
         I opened my mouth to reply but just then, an old memory surfaced and I was pulled back into it.  It had been a rather sunny day and Selwyn and I were heading back from the fields of the 7th floor after hunting.
         Just before we got to the teleport statue, Selwyn had stopped me and gestured to the group of Dragon Alliance members that had been walking away from the teleport statue while we were heading towards it.  "Why do we have a tattoo instead of a symbol on our armor or wear uniforms, like with these other guilds?"
         I thought for a while on how I could best express what I was thinking in Japanese and crossed my arms before speaking.  "It's a little bit closer to you.  No matter what you wear or wield, you will always be a member of Darkness Falls.  Because, even if you strip down to no armor, you're still a part of us.  Even if you're at your weakest or most vulnerable state, you're still a part of us."
         Selwyn nodded thoughtfully and gave me a smile.  "I was afraid it was because you wanted to hide the fact that you're a part of this guild, kid," he remarked, his face breaking out in wrinkles as his smile widened.  "Whatever happens, don't ever hide who you are just because someone makes you feel like you should.  Everything about you is important and worth showing, no matter what anyone tells you."
         "Um, Aiken, are you there?" Gerg asked, and I snapped out of the flashback.  Everyone was staring at me and I realized that I must have been staring at the window that had popped up in front of Mattias for a long while.  I shook my head and mentally told myself to get it together.
          "Let's have the guild's name on the house,"  I stated, feeling confidence surge back through my body.  "We shouldn't have to hide in our own headquarters."
          Gerg smiled and Jinx patted me on the back while Mattias tapped the corresponding option on the window.  "Well said, Aiken," Vin remarked, giving me a slight grin before he followed Jesse into the now available manor house.
          The rest of the group followed the two of them but I hesitated at the front door.  No matter how hard I tried, my feet were stuck to the ground as if I were tagging; however, seeing as how everything was moving around me in real time, I knew that my internet connection was not the problem here.
          What the hell is wrong with you?  I thought to myself, shaking despite my attempts to stay calm.  It's not even the same place; the code is completely different and the game's ID for the house is probably completely different.
           I felt my breath coming out in shorter and shorter bursts of air and I struggled to steady myself.  So… there's no reason to expect anything to be waiting for me, right?  However much I tried to convince myself of those facts, though, I still found myself wanting to pull up the player menu and logoff so I could avoid everything.
           "Hey, aren't you coming in?"  Kitty asked, poking her head out of the doorway.  Looking up from the spot on the cobblestone that I had been staring at, I could tell that her excitement from earlier was still evident on her face.
           "Yeah, just zoned out for a second,"  I said, waving my hand to show that I was okay and taking a few steps towards the open doorway.  Filling my lungs with as much air as I could, I quickly stepped over the threshold and into my old home.

       Nothing.

       The entire hall area was empty, the wooden floorboards clean and devoid of the rug that used to cover its center.  The end table, the pictures, the chairs that used to populate this area of our home were gone and I felt like I was staring at some sort of alien landscape.
        Wordlessly, I walked by my friends and up the staircase, sliding my hand along the smooth railing as I did.  I was subconsciously aware of where I was going but I made no attempt to stop myself.  Halfway down the hallway, I stopped and turned to look in at the small room to my right.
         It was where the bathroom used to be and, just like the rest of the house, it was empty.  I could see where the mirror used to be on the wall and, placing my hand on the empty spot on the wall, I remembered the day that Selwyn died, when I got home.
        I had locked myself in the bathroom and cried till my voice went out.  I remembered staring at my reflection in the mirror and wondering who the red-faced, sobbing person was that was staring back at me with bloodshot eyes.  It was then that I swore that I would kill every single PKer that I found.
        And then I was gone, continuing my path down the hallway.  I felt like an onlooker, no longer in control of my body and only there to see how everything would turn out.  Just before I hit the end of the hallway, I stopped and turned to the left.  Unlike the other rooms in this hall, this door was closed and I felt my heart skip a beat in response.
        Slowly, almost mechanically, I grabbed the doorknob and turned it before pushing in to the brightly lit room.  Several bookcases faced the rest of the room from the wall perpendicular to the doorway and three windows filled my vision from where I was standing.  A deep blue rug was laid out in the center of the room and a bed with the same color covers adorned the farthest side of the room.  Two mahogany-like end tables decorated each side of the large piece of furniture and one of them had an oil lamp on it.
        Curtains that matched the rug and bed covers were pulled back to allow the most light into the room possible, illuminating a cloak that had been thrown over one of the bedposts.  Propped up against the end of the footboard of the bed was a steel dual-edged sword and a leather buckler.  A large desk made of the same dark wood as the rest of the furniture in the room was positioned next to the bookcases and the elderly man working at it looked up at me.  "It's nice to see you there, kid,"  Selwyn said with a wide grin.  "What can I do for you?"
         I blinked and the entire scene vanished, replaced with the cold reality of the present.  The room was completely devoid of any furnishings, decorations, and life, as to be expected from a newly bought house.  I sensed movement behind me and a sigh escaped from my lips.  "Hey, Kitty?"  I said, staring at the shapes that the light from the windows made on the wooden floorboards.  "I think I'll take you up on that house offer."
         "What off- oh, that,"  Kitty said, jumping slightly as if I had startled her.  "If you want to, we can go now to find a good place to buy a plot of land."  The floorboards creaked slightly as she shifted her weight from one foot to the other; although, I couldn't see her face, I could sense that she wanted to get out of the guild house as soon as possible.
        "While you guys do that, Vin, Mattias, and I can go shopping for furniture,"  Jesse remarked and I turned around to see that everyone had followed me.  Jinx and Gerg were looking at me with understanding eyes while Mattias and Vin were staring off in opposite directions in silence.  Jesse was twirling her dark purple hair around her finger and seemed to be deep in thought.  I turned slightly to see Auser scowling and glaring at the hallway wall and Kitty biting her lip and looking at me with worry-filled eyes.
          "I should go back to my shop; after all, it is rush hour and I don't want to miss out on any potential customers,"  the heavyset Leprechaun said, giving me a meaningful glance before turning around and walking down the hallway.
          I'm not so delusional to believe that I was the only one who cared about Selwyn, I thought to myself, looking around at my friends.  However, they can't grieve him like I do because his death didn't tear them apart from the inside out.  I'm just the one that went insane after his death and spent all of my time trying to keep what happened to him from happening to anyone else.
         "I guess I'll go do some leveling with Aus,"  Jin said, giving the others a wink.  "You probably don't want me picking out the house stuff."
          "Why should I go with - wait, what did you call me?!"  Auser snapped, stopping to glower at the Pooka.  He was gritting his teeth, but I could tell that his heart wasn't completely into it.
         "Just come with me," Jinx muttered, grabbing the Salamander by the shoulder piece of his armor and dragging him down the hallway, much to his embarrassment.
          Will it always be like this?  I thought to myself, clenching my fist slightly.  Will I always be the broken one, someone to fear or appease?  Will I really have to deal with this, forever?
           "Hey, Aiken,"  Vin said calmly, without a trace of malice or annoyance in his voice.  "While you're free today, you… should probably visit Selwyn's grave."
           My voice got caught in my throat and I closed my mouth after a few seconds.  I went to Selwyn's grave in real life when I was finally released from the hospital.  It had been hard, but I found that I was able to do it after a few panic attacks had stopped me the first few times.
           "I haven't been yet, either,"  Kitty stated, grabbing my arm for some reason.  Although she seemed to be fine, her grip was unusually tight and my arm soon started to hurt.  "Vin, Jinx, and Gerg created a monument stone in the forest outside of the city.  I can take you there… if you want."
            Looking at my second-in-command's eyes, I could tell that he knew exactly how much this would mean to me.  I don't have the right to not visit your grave, Selwyn, I thought and set my jaw.  I will be strong enough to go back there, even if it is only for this one time.
          "Let's go do that right now,"  I said, determined to honor my friend in the world we met in.